tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5717570063476912614.post1020300951923363467..comments2022-02-23T22:48:17.171-05:00Comments on Gaddy Daddy: Please Stop Mothering Me!Jacobhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08663788173244621239noreply@blogger.comBlogger7125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5717570063476912614.post-70209613399029533482011-02-20T09:00:28.116-05:002011-02-20T09:00:28.116-05:00As a new mom raising a baby with a fantastic new d...As a new mom raising a baby with a fantastic new dad, I've been noticing the same thing. With the exception of nursing, Dom is absolutely just as engaged as I am in taking care of our bebbe.<br /><br />Here's another example of women-centered baby service: gender-differentiation in public changing tables. First, let me note that I'm really grateful when there are changing tables in stores and restaurant bathrooms. They really help - and I do understand that they take up space and money, so the proprietors want to put them where they are most likely to be used. I'd rather then be only in the women's rooms than not at all.... BUT....<br /><br />It irks me that (at least here in Colorado), they are usually only in the women's bathrooms rooms. Dom often tries to take bebbe for a change only to come back, saying the changing table is only in the women's room. When it's a single-stall, he just uses it - no big deal. I really doubt any woman is going to give him the evil eye if he comes out with a baby. <br /><br />But when it's a multiple-stall bathroom, which it often is, he doesn't feel right going in to use the table - which is fair. We've all watched enough comedies with women screaming if a man goes in the women's room (which, as a side note, I don't understand - we have DOORS on the stalls, but whatever.) So I have to get up and bring him in to get changed. But what happens if I'm not out with them? Desmond is only 3 months old and so far our outings to restaurants/stores have mostly been whole-family trips, but that is unlikely to always be the case.<br /><br />Convenience/safety demands that we take advantage of changing-tables when they are available. But that often means that either I do a disproportionate amount of changes when out in public, or that Dom has to sneak into women's bathrooms to do it. <br /><br />The placement of the changing tables is like that marketing content you discussed. It sends a message: changing babies is women's work. It's fairly blatant: to do it, Dom has to walk into a room labled "WOMEN." The message says the mom should be the one to always interrupt her meal to change the baby.. that Dad is probably at work instead of shopping with a baby at this store. <br /><br />In reality, the way we've divided our labor really has Dom doing more of the diapering than I do. Since I'm breastfeeding - it usually comes down to me handling "input" and him handling "output." He was the one in charge of choosing the cloth diaper solutions and he still does at least 80% of the laundry with it. When bebbe wakes up for his middle-of-the-night feed - Dom is in charge of changing him and bringing him to me to nurse. <br /><br />At any rate, I'm just commenting to say - I feel ya! I think engaged daddies (gaddy or otherwise) definitely need more credit and support. Really enjoying your blog and so happy for you both!Erickahttp://www.pinkrobots.com/fowlerfaraonenoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5717570063476912614.post-23601928032240629442011-02-13T08:04:35.532-05:002011-02-13T08:04:35.532-05:00Great post, Stew. Of course I agree. It does make ...Great post, Stew. Of course I agree. It does make me wonder what kind of marketing research has gone into this fixation on "mom," or whether it's just a relic. I imagine these companies are trying to speak to moms (as opposed to parents) who feel like they're doing it all by themselves, but that approach could backfire and just be, as esther said, really annoying.<br />P.S. That box containing a "jumperoo" was no help to me--I had to Google to find out what one was.Doug Tebayhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01184176840543682755noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5717570063476912614.post-83381518012003392302011-02-07T09:46:20.066-05:002011-02-07T09:46:20.066-05:00Don't get me started on this! When Chloe was ...Don't get me started on this! When Chloe was nursing, I ended up watching more daytime television than I ever have in my life and apparently the only ones capable of wiping or mopping a surface is a lone woman wearing a frumpy outfit. Parenting is not limited to just moms, not only does it place the burden of responsibility all on mom, but also leaves out dads who are just as capable and care just as much.Heather Cumingsnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5717570063476912614.post-78108633561219484792011-02-06T23:09:47.816-05:002011-02-06T23:09:47.816-05:00agreed! i've always found it really annoying. ...agreed! i've always found it really annoying. and i think you're right that it discourages dads from dealing with the everyday. keep up the great guest posts. xoxoesthernoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5717570063476912614.post-65215606998809140042011-02-05T18:37:35.240-05:002011-02-05T18:37:35.240-05:00OMG. Totally understand your frustration but just...OMG. Totally understand your frustration but just gotta say - the gathering cartoon! I'm sending to my mom! Ha!<br />KJeff and Kevinhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13867306985312185562noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5717570063476912614.post-24695277384559325882011-02-03T17:02:33.090-05:002011-02-03T17:02:33.090-05:00Thanks Kai, it's a great idea! I can only drea...Thanks Kai, it's a great idea! I can only dream of a future in which we have the time to create and run such a site!Stewarthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02660185043870779124noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5717570063476912614.post-56493650013452561722011-02-03T16:17:02.552-05:002011-02-03T16:17:02.552-05:00No Jay and Stewart, there are hundreds and thousan...No Jay and Stewart, there are hundreds and thousands of stay at home dads who feel the same way. Start something new! Develop a website for other Gaddies and stay at home dads to chat and share advice. Never know where it will lead :)Lee, Kaihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13799630156042105810noreply@blogger.com