An Early Crisis

The first three weeks of Max’s life created surprisingly little stress. Stewart was home with Max and me and Max basically slept, ate and pooped. But anxiety did creep into our lives during that time in a rather surprising way. We were asked to speak about our surrogacy experience at the Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual & Transgender Community Center’s monthly “Planning Biological Parenthood for Men” meeting that we attended in the months leading up to, and during, our surrogate’s pregnancy with Max. We embrace telling the story of our family’s creation and answering questions about our experiences. So what was stressful about attending the meeting? Was it speaking in front of a large group? Was it worrying over how Max would behave? No and no. The cause of the stress was over something much more important -- what was Max going to wear!

The only clothes we had for him at the time were layette clothes and ones that we got from the Carter’s, Oshkosh, and Children’s Place outlets in Georgia shortly before Max’s birth. Cute clothes and all, but even my sister Rebecca, who lives in the Boston suburbs, said that these mass-produced clothes weren’t going to cut it! So Stewart and I spent a whole day leading up to the meeting hitting downtown infant and toddler clothing stores to find the perfect too-cool-for-school baby outfit. We eventually purchased a $40, on sale, outfit from the boutique brand Milk and Honey with a Japanese surf print on the front. I’m not necessarily proud of it. I did the one thing I vowed not to do before Max was born, which was to buy over priced hipster clothes for my baby. That said, it actually was a totally cool outfit! All 3 times Max wore it he got compliments. Of course Max has grown like a weed since then -- doubling his weight and adding 4 inches to his height -- so now his ultra expensive and ultra trendy outfit is sitting in a hand-me-down bag dedicated to our friend Lisa who is having a baby in October.  So hopefully the outfit isn’t done glamorizing babies quite yet!