Some Well Intentioned Advice -- Redux

The most popular post on my blog so far has been "Some Well Intentioned Advice," so I thought I'd share two other recent experiences that Stewart and I have had that fall under that description.  Since becoming a new parent I have heard horror stories about strangers butting in and yelling at new parents who are out and about for doing or not doing something with their infant. As a new parent, I am used to getting strong opinions from people we know, but I had not had that experience from strangers -- until a couple of weeks ago.

After eating lunch out with a friend on the Lower East Side, not too far from the apartment, I fed Max his own lunch out on Clinton Street. My plan was to take a short walk to Sugar Sweet Sunshine, a couple of blocks away, to get a cupcake and then to head back home to change Max’s diaper (a force of habit after he eats). On my way, Max started to get fussy and I could smell trouble – literally! I saw that he had a really big poop that needed to be changed immediately, as he had even crapped through his diaper! I was on Norfolk Street at the time, and fortunately there were virtually no people about. So I decided to change Max right in his stroller. As I was doing that, he started to flip out -- a rather rare but not unheard of experience! To prevent the squirming kid from getting poop everywhere, I picked him up and took him out of the stroller to finish putting him in a clean outfit. As I was doing this, all of the sudden I see a random lady run up to me and start touching Max, yelling that I was going to drop the baby!  I said very sternly to her: “thank you, I am not going to drop my kid.”  Her unwarranted hysteria was simply rude and unhelpful. She wandered off without another word, and I finished dressing Max and then went along my way. I could have said something slightly more choice to her at the time, but I knew it wasn’t worth it. I got Max fed, clean, re-dressed and happy, and that was proof enough that he’s got a pretty competent daddy, no matter what some stranger might have thought in her snap judgment.

                                             

Stewart also had a recent run-in with a nosy stranger. We were having dinner at a Mexican restaurant called “Mary Ann’s” with my cousin Amy and her partner Victoria. Stewart was seated with Max dozing in his arms, his face nuzzling Stewart’s shoulder (like the photo below). All of a sudden the hostess came up to Stewart from across the restaurant and said something that the rest of us couldn’t make out through the din of the restaurant. Stewart said something brusquely back and the hostess backed off.  We asked him what was up, and he told us that she had literally told him that the baby wasn’t breathing!  It was such an absurd comment on its face that Stewart hadn’t even flinched, and simply told the hostess that Max was fine, in a tone that made it clear to her to back off. Presumably, Max burying his face in Stewart’s shoulder had concerned her – but don't you think that the person raising the baby, and holding the baby an inch from his ear, is a little more clued into the situation than a hostess from across a crowded restaurant? She could have scared us half to death! Needless to say, we didn’t linger at Mary Ann’s for very long afterward and will not be returning!

                               

What do you think?  Are we being over sensitive?  Have you ever given a complete stranger unsolicited advice about their child?  Is it better to say something and risk offending the parent by being a busy-body, or to stay silent even though you're legitimately concerned for the child's well-being? Tough questions to be sure, but no one said being a parent is easy!